Well it’s the holiday weekend…and like clock work there is a tv series marathon on that lures you to watch and stay engrossed in watching episode after episode for endless hours. This weekend, I stumbled across the “Sex In The City” series marathon. After one and a half episodes in, nostalgia kicked in and I remembered that when this show was in it’s prime during the late 90’s, I was in my twenties with my first child thinking that I had life all figured out.

The 90’s was an era of some of the greatest Hip Hop and R&B music, black movies…it was a time of self discovery, time for unity (i.e. The Million Man March) and style / culture that still is still present to this day (i.e. Air Jordans). The economy was thriving, couture fashion was booming (i.e. Versace, Dapper Dan / Gucci etc..), mobile technology was starting to take off (i.e. Pagers). And, during this time I’d graduated from college, I dated a lot of guys, broke up with a lot guys, mutually uncoupled with some guys, got back together briefly with some guys and I also had my heart broken. My playbook has been exposed! Anyhoo, needless to say, with all of that relationship experience, I thought I knew “love” frontwards and backwards. But, boy was I wrong!

Watching “Sex In The City” unearthed some emotions and memories that I thought were long gone. I continued to watch each episode feeling like an hourglass had been flipped upside down, allowing me drift back in time in my thoughts remembering why I loved this show so much. After twenty something years later, how crazy is it that some of the very topics that were referenced during the series (i.e. Sex with well endowed men and less than endowed men, too much sex, too little sex, good oral sex, bad oral sex or lack of it, Alzheimers Disease, Cancer, falling in and out of love, marital issues, fertility issues, job issues etc…) just to name of few topics that over the past two decades intersected with my life directly or indirectly.

Oh, how I could forget the other special ingredients to this series success. These were Carrie’s three best friends Charlotte, Miranda and Samantha. These women who were all so different in their appearances, style and personality yet, all successful in their own right. The one thing they all had in common was that they were all searching for their “Big”. These ladies shared everything with each other except their men!

Similarly, I too have three best friends of over 30 years and we share pretty much everything…actually we sometimes share too much! Collectively, at some point of our lives we’ve all lost at love, we’ve all lost loved ones, some of us have experienced marital issues or gone through difficult relationship issues etc… However, NONE of us have given up on finding our “Big”.

“Big” is the man that has it going on in all areas of his life. He’s good looking, smart, successful, charismatic, and hella sexy.
Carrie, like so many women falls in love with her “Big”, they date, their relationship experiences turmoil and they break up. Carrie and “Big” drift apart, date other people, get engaged to other people, marry other people, divorce and through divine intervention find their way back to each other. What a love story!

I never really realized how much I related to the character Carrie Bradshaw. Based on her career as a writer and topic she writes about, “love”. She’s expected to be the subject matter expert on all things regarding love and sex. However, in reality she knows no more or less than the average woman on relationships and affairs of the heart. Like so many women I know, we think, let me repeat, we think we’ve got it all figured out until we encounter that special individual a.k.a our “Big”.

If you’re picking up what I am putting down, you will see that Carrie and Big are the perfect example of Twin Flames. The entire Sex and The City series primarily plays out the “Runner and Chaser” dynamic part of the Twin Flame journey. If you’re not familiar with this topic, check out my previous posts for a deeper dive on the subject. While apart Carrie and Big experienced being married, divorced, engaged, single etc…only to realize that they are each other’s Twin Flame. By the end of series and a movie later, destiny and some really good girlfriends assist in bringing Carrie and Big back together again.

In the associated image with this post, “Big” tells Carrie the following: “It took me a long time to get here but, I’m here…Carrie you’re the one!”

Once back together, Carrie and Big realize that neither one can fight destiny and with so much love between them, that the two together can overcome their relationship issues, regardless of what they are and that they are better together than they are apart. If you were wondering, Big and Carrie do whine up getting married (even though it took 2 attempts) and since the series ended one can assume that they went on to live happily ever after.

Let me know if you’ve found your “Big” or your “Carrie”. Share your story via email (cannotmakethisupblog@gmail.com) and let me know if this post resonated with you.

Till next time…trust your intuition and remember to live, laugh and love with all your heart!

Love, love, love…it can be intoxicating, it can be frustrating, it can be confusing, it can be debilitating and too many it can be a whole lot more depending on the person(s) and their situation.

This week I am going in on the Karmic soulmate and Karmic relationships. A Karmic’s role is to teach a lesson. Karmics’ mimic soulmates in the sense you share an attraction, you share common interests, you tend to want to spend a significant amount of time together etc…..These relationship characteristics if seen on paper may seem like the perfect ingredients for a harmonious life together. You might be right or maybe fear kicks in. Fear of not being able to do better if you were to continue the search for the right one to spend your life with, the fear of being alone, fear of letting others down and not fulfilling a pre-conceived expectation of what your life is supposed to look like.

Next thing you know, one thing leads to another and bam you’re in a committed relationship. You may even wind up with having children together. Regardless of the circumstances, time will eventually pass and your person may or may not be all that you thought they were going to be in a life partner and / or the relationship in itself may not be what you expected as well. The point is, your partner aka your Karmic has begun to teach you about what it is you do want or don’t want in a life partner.

Couples in Karmic relationships tend to have volatile relationships in the sense that the relationship is either really going well or really going bad cyclically. You can almost set your watch to these inevitable cycles of good and bad times. With Karmic relationships there’s no happy medium in the relationship. Overtime, couples begin to identify triggers aka buttons to push in their partner’s that serve as catalysts for arguments. In addition, they also display learned behaviors (i.e. avoidance, temporary separation, loss of their opinions, submissiveness etc…) that are necessary to de-escalate the bad times. Nonetheless, couples in Karmic situations find ways to get through the periods of turmoil and eventually find their way back to a temporary happy place.

Karmic relationships can last a long time and can led to co-dependency. At some point, the couples in a Karmic relationship become co-dependent on each other for financial and emotional support. Through the course of their relationship, finances have been built up together, families may have developed and one could assume that career ascension has also occurred over time. One may consider these periods of time as “highlights” of the relationship. However, on the flip side when everything isn’t going so well due to life’s challenges, people evolving over time, not seeing eye to eye anymore etc… this is when couples either collectively or individually begin to weigh the pro’s and con’s of staying in a relationship that may no longer be fulfilling. These periods of time could be considered the “low points” of the relationship.

It’s not until a person begins to remember happier times when their self-esteem was at its peak, their confidence was unshakeable, when they felt they were their “best” self. Even if they didn’t have life all figured out yet. This self-awareness re-invigorates the individual to begin to love themself back to this happy place in their life. But I must warn you, Karmics’ recognize these changes that are occurring within their partner and they will do almost anything to maintain the Karmic relationship. Why would they do almost anything? For the very reason, that no one really wants to start over especially if their life is comfortable and as the saying goes, “if it ain’t broke why fix it!”.

The desire to break the Karmic cycle comes from the innate knowing that the cycle has to end, it comes in knowing that within this universe is an amazing individual that will fulfill and exceed expectations of a true life partner. The individual realizes that breaking the karmic cycle even it means being alone for a while, is worth it in the end and that freeing themselves of the Karmic is the only way experiencing true love will ever be possible.