For many years I have worked in offices made of many colorful and dark personalities. Each job could have been a TV series in its own right, stealing all of fans of show “The Office”.
These colorful personalties include the “The Go Getter”, “The Commander in Chief”, “The Deputy”, “The I Don’t Give a Fuck” employee, “The People Pleaser”, “The Golden Child”, The “Company Would Fail Without Me” employee, “The I’m Way too Talented” for this position employee.
The dark personalties include, “The Grim Reaper”, “The Instigator”, “The Passive Aggressive” employee, “Why Are You So Mean” individual, “The I Ain’t Going Nowhere” employee, the “Snitches Gets Stitches” employee, and the “Are You Kidding Me” employee?
Please understand, that these employees can take on one or more of these personalities at different times or even simultaneously.
Let’s start with one of the “Are You Kidding Me” (AYKM: pronounced “aye ya kum) employees.
What if you didn’t wash your cup not just for one month but, for four months? And you drank from it everyday? The average person at a minimum would probably puke just from the pure sight of it. At a maximum you would probably develop gastrointestinal issues or far worse!
Truth be told, a co-worker of mine aka AYKM # 1, has a cup that they use EVERYDAY for hot chocolate. This cup sits on the edge of their desk for all the world to see, heavily crusted chocolate aka hot chocolate residue that lines the inside and rim of their cup. What color is the cup you ask? It’s porcelain white, so what I am describing really stands out!
The staff and I have stared through the paned glass of AYKM’s office everyday for the past 6 months, just to catch a glimpse to see what stage of life the “cup” has morphed into. The best way to describe these stages is broken down below:
- Fetus = almost clean
- birth = gently used
- baby = dirty
- toddler = pretty dirty
- child = extremely dirty
- teenager = Call the CDC
- adult = Quarantine the entire staff
I left out “death” because at
8. An intervention occurred.
Several staff asked AYKM if they washed “said” cup. I would imagine after multiple inquiries and a “teeny bit” of embarassment, the cup got washed! Did you hear me? “The CUP got washed!
Mind you this was over a week ago. So after months of watching the stages of life occur for this poor white porcelain cup, you’re probably asking, “Where is the cup now?” Well, it’s back at stage # 3!
If you’re saying to yourself, ” Are you kidding me?” My job is done. I cannot make this up! Stay tuned!