Category: Uncategorized

Carrie and Big…

Well it’s the holiday weekend…and like clock work there is a tv series marathon on that lures you to watch and stay engrossed in watching episode after episode for endless hours. This weekend, I stumbled across the “Sex In The City” series marathon. After one and a half episodes in, nostalgia kicked in and I remembered that when this show was in it’s prime during the late 90’s, I was in my twenties with my first child thinking that I had life all figured out.

The 90’s was an era of some of the greatest Hip Hop and R&B music, black movies…it was a time of self discovery, time for unity (i.e. The Million Man March) and style / culture that still is still present to this day (i.e. Air Jordans). The economy was thriving, couture fashion was booming (i.e. Versace, Dapper Dan / Gucci etc..), mobile technology was starting to take off (i.e. Pagers). And, during this time I’d graduated from college, I dated a lot of guys, broke up with a lot guys, mutually uncoupled with some guys, got back together briefly with some guys and I also had my heart broken. My playbook has been exposed! Anyhoo, needless to say, with all of that relationship experience, I thought I knew “love” frontwards and backwards. But, boy was I wrong!

Watching “Sex In The City” unearthed some emotions and memories that I thought were long gone. I continued to watch each episode feeling like an hourglass had been flipped upside down, allowing me drift back in time in my thoughts remembering why I loved this show so much. After twenty something years later, how crazy is it that some of the very topics that were referenced during the series (i.e. Sex with well endowed men and less than endowed men, too much sex, too little sex, good oral sex, bad oral sex or lack of it, Alzheimers Disease, Cancer, falling in and out of love, marital issues, fertility issues, job issues etc…) just to name of few topics that over the past two decades intersected with my life directly or indirectly.

Oh, how I could forget the other special ingredients to this series success. These were Carrie’s three best friends Charlotte, Miranda and Samantha. These women who were all so different in their appearances, style and personality yet, all successful in their own right. The one thing they all had in common was that they were all searching for their “Big”. These ladies shared everything with each other except their men!

Similarly, I too have three best friends of over 30 years and we share pretty much everything…actually we sometimes share too much! Collectively, at some point of our lives we’ve all lost at love, we’ve all lost loved ones, some of us have experienced marital issues or gone through difficult relationship issues etc… However, NONE of us have given up on finding our “Big”.

“Big” is the man that has it going on in all areas of his life. He’s good looking, smart, successful, charismatic, and hella sexy.
Carrie, like so many women falls in love with her “Big”, they date, their relationship experiences turmoil and they break up. Carrie and “Big” drift apart, date other people, get engaged to other people, marry other people, divorce and through divine intervention find their way back to each other. What a love story!

I never really realized how much I related to the character Carrie Bradshaw. Based on her career as a writer and topic she writes about, “love”. She’s expected to be the subject matter expert on all things regarding love and sex. However, in reality she knows no more or less than the average woman on relationships and affairs of the heart. Like so many women I know, we think, let me repeat, we think we’ve got it all figured out until we encounter that special individual a.k.a our “Big”.

If you’re picking up what I am putting down, you will see that Carrie and Big are the perfect example of Twin Flames. The entire Sex and The City series primarily plays out the “Runner and Chaser” dynamic part of the Twin Flame journey. If you’re not familiar with this topic, check out my previous posts for a deeper dive on the subject. While apart Carrie and Big experienced being married, divorced, engaged, single etc…only to realize that they are each other’s Twin Flame. By the end of series and a movie later, destiny and some really good girlfriends assist in bringing Carrie and Big back together again.

In the associated image with this post, “Big” tells Carrie the following: “It took me a long time to get here but, I’m here…Carrie you’re the one!”

Once back together, Carrie and Big realize that neither one can fight destiny and with so much love between them, that the two together can overcome their relationship issues, regardless of what they are and that they are better together than they are apart. If you were wondering, Big and Carrie do whine up getting married (even though it took 2 attempts) and since the series ended one can assume that they went on to live happily ever after.

Let me know if you’ve found your “Big” or your “Carrie”. Share your story via email (cannotmakethisupblog@gmail.com) and let me know if this post resonated with you.

Till next time…trust your intuition and remember to live, laugh and love with all your heart!

Run Forrest Run!

If you’ve been following my blog the past few weeks, you’ve probably ascertained that the dynamics of The Twin Flame Journey is nothing short of being complex, confusing, scary and can be completely euphoric.

Due to what I’ve just described, sometimes one or both partners can’t deal with all of the varying emotions etc…and run from it all. Enter the roles of the “Runner” and the “Chaser”. These two roles evolve organically and are not predetermined. Also, its note worthy to mention that this period of the journey is where the experience can be complex and can be extremely distressing for one or both partners who, deep down, simply desire to be together in union.

The “Runner” will unconsciously emotionally or physically withdraw from the relationship. The phrase “out of sight, out of mind” is fitting to describe the mentality the Runner adopts. The Runner emotionally shuts down all whilst giving the other partner the silent treatment. They are running away from themselves. Runners are not running away from you. They run away from what they see reflected back at them, through you. They run from the things they don’t want to see, they don’t want to do, they don’t want to change, and you remind them of all that they have to deal with. So they run!

Alternatively, the behavior of running can also be intended to trigger the other partner to abandon the relationship, buy them additional time to having to confront and deal with their true feelings and ultimately take any necessary actions to facilitate union.

The “Chaser” on the other hand, tends to be the more mentally and emotionally mature partner of the two. Once the “Runner” has taken off, the “Chaser” often times is trying to make sense of what happened and for the betterment of their partner provides them enough space for their Twin to discern and grow. If this part of the journey was not hard enough, the “Chaser” is expected to maintain being the maturer of the two and hence be understanding of their partner’s behavior, forgive them for the abandonment, be patient, and remain faithful in believing that their Twin will eventually return.

While some relationships can survive this dynamic period(s) of time, other relationships crumble and end as a result of the partner leaving for a few months to a few years and then returning, only to repeat the cycle once again.

The Twin Flame journey is not for the faint hearted, weak minded nor for the non-believers of Twin Flame relationships. Initially, Twin Flames may not know what all is entailed regarding the journey but they do eventually realize that nothing worth having comes easy!

Karmic Relationships

Love, love, love…it can be intoxicating, it can be frustrating, it can be confusing, it can be debilitating and too many it can be a whole lot more depending on the person(s) and their situation.

This week I am going in on the Karmic soulmate and Karmic relationships. A Karmic’s role is to teach a lesson. Karmics’ mimic soulmates in the sense you share an attraction, you share common interests, you tend to want to spend a significant amount of time together etc…..These relationship characteristics if seen on paper may seem like the perfect ingredients for a harmonious life together. You might be right or maybe fear kicks in. Fear of not being able to do better if you were to continue the search for the right one to spend your life with, the fear of being alone, fear of letting others down and not fulfilling a pre-conceived expectation of what your life is supposed to look like.

Next thing you know, one thing leads to another and bam you’re in a committed relationship. You may even wind up with having children together. Regardless of the circumstances, time will eventually pass and your person may or may not be all that you thought they were going to be in a life partner and / or the relationship in itself may not be what you expected as well. The point is, your partner aka your Karmic has begun to teach you about what it is you do want or don’t want in a life partner.

Couples in Karmic relationships tend to have volatile relationships in the sense that the relationship is either really going well or really going bad cyclically. You can almost set your watch to these inevitable cycles of good and bad times. With Karmic relationships there’s no happy medium in the relationship. Overtime, couples begin to identify triggers aka buttons to push in their partner’s that serve as catalysts for arguments. In addition, they also display learned behaviors (i.e. avoidance, temporary separation, loss of their opinions, submissiveness etc…) that are necessary to de-escalate the bad times. Nonetheless, couples in Karmic situations find ways to get through the periods of turmoil and eventually find their way back to a temporary happy place.

Karmic relationships can last a long time and can led to co-dependency. At some point, the couples in a Karmic relationship become co-dependent on each other for financial and emotional support. Through the course of their relationship, finances have been built up together, families may have developed and one could assume that career ascension has also occurred over time. One may consider these periods of time as “highlights” of the relationship. However, on the flip side when everything isn’t going so well due to life’s challenges, people evolving over time, not seeing eye to eye anymore etc… this is when couples either collectively or individually begin to weigh the pro’s and con’s of staying in a relationship that may no longer be fulfilling. These periods of time could be considered the “low points” of the relationship.

It’s not until a person begins to remember happier times when their self-esteem was at its peak, their confidence was unshakeable, when they felt they were their “best” self. Even if they didn’t have life all figured out yet. This self-awareness re-invigorates the individual to begin to love themself back to this happy place in their life. But I must warn you, Karmics’ recognize these changes that are occurring within their partner and they will do almost anything to maintain the Karmic relationship. Why would they do almost anything? For the very reason, that no one really wants to start over especially if their life is comfortable and as the saying goes, “if it ain’t broke why fix it!”.

The desire to break the Karmic cycle comes from the innate knowing that the cycle has to end, it comes in knowing that within this universe is an amazing individual that will fulfill and exceed expectations of a true life partner. The individual realizes that breaking the karmic cycle even it means being alone for a while, is worth it in the end and that freeing themselves of the Karmic is the only way experiencing true love will ever be possible.

The Twin Flame Journey

Can you believe that we’re a month away from Valentine’s Day? Me either! The stores are flooded with Valentine’s Day cards, candy, calendar, candles etc… That’s a lot of “C’s” I just referenced!

Anyone that knows me, knows that I love “LOVE”! Love is everything! Love can make you happy. Love can make you sad. Love heals and I believe, LOVE can conquer all!

Therefore, it’s only appropriate that I begin by asking, “have you ever heard of a Twin Flame”? How about a “Soulmate”? You probably said “yes” to the latter. A Soulmate is defined as “a person ideally suited to another as a close friend or romantic parter”. The Urban dictionary defines a soulmate as “being like a best friend but, more. It’s the one person in the world who knows you better than anyone else. It’s someone who makes you a better person, well, actually they don’t make you a better person…you do that yourself because they inspire you. A Soulmate is someone who you carry with you FOREVER. It’s the one person who knew you, accepted you and believed in you before anyone else did and when no one else would. And no matter what happens…you will ALWAYS love them, unconditionally.

The Urban Dictionary defines a Twin Flame as “our most perfect mirror, because they are us in another body. Our Twin Flame is the only one, who gives us a true and honest reflection of who we are, and where we are in our lives at any given time. When you look at each other, you will feel like you are looking in the mirror because of the magic of your soul being mirrored, you will just FEEL it! Not only do they reflect everything in us that is good…they also mirror any fears or perceived “weaknesses” that we feel we have…and those are reflected so that the twins can work through them TOGETHER”.

Often confused with the term “Soulmate”, Twin Flames are two halves of one soul. Your Twin Flame is the one person in this world that completes you.

If you love the topic of “LOVE” like I do, having a soulmate and / or a Twin Flame sounds like hearing your favorite song when you least expect it. Correct? Well think again!

Once you figure out who your Twin Flame is; pack up your heart, your emotions and grab some Kleenex because you’re in for an experience of a lifetime! Nothing great in life comes easy, someone once said including sharing a life with your Twin Flame.

The Twin Flame journey includes you and your other halve. One of you will be known as “the chaser” and the other one as “the runner”. The chaser is more aware and understanding. They carry a strong emotional connection to their twin and understand the mirror effect of the Twin Flame dynamic. The chaser will feel an emotion that something is “off” and this will serve as an impetus to take an action. This “off” feeling can include a feeling that their twin is experiencing sadness, anger / frustration, disappointment etc.. at that particular moment. The chaser just knows that their twin is going through something and they need to reach out. As a result, the chaser will initiate an action, a communication, do something to get their twin’s attention so that they know that they’re being thought of and that they’re there for them if the Twin needs them. Also, they could fear that they’re being forgotten about by their Twin.

Don’t get it twisted, the runner feels these same emotions as well but, instead of chasing their other half, they run from it! This is because the runner has never experienced such overwhelming emotions / feelings before and they may not even understand why they have these emotions / feelings and run as far away from their Twin out of fear.

As the one twin runs, the chaser begins to tire and eventually will stop chasing the twin. The end of the chase can be emotionally overwhelming accompanied with random tears for the Twin and may include feelings of loss.

After reading these two definitions and being introduced to the Twin Flame Journey, can you say that you’re with your soulmate? Or better yet, “are you and your Twin Flame in union”? If you answered “yes” to either question, consider yourself blessed and hold on to what you have like there’s no tomorrow. If you answered, “no” and you desire to be in union with your Twin Flame, you’ve come to the right place.

Over the next four weeks leading up to Valentine’s Day, if you would like to learn more about the Twin Flame Journey I’ll be continuing a dialogue right here. You can also follow my blog on Instagram (Cannot Make This Up Blog).

Player Don’t Get Played!!!

I’m BacK!!! You thought I was gone? Not! I’ve been on hiatus and now I’m back! My re-inaugural post will be on the topic of the classic “Jedi Mind Trick!” The Jedi Mind Trick is the action of initiating or starting an argument with your lady / man on the premise of thinking, assuming or confronting them for cheating on you. Fuck, who needs proof? Just throw in an insinuation that they’re cheating, see how they react! Then insert some mild or extreme threats in the mix such as leaving them or putting them out. Don’t forget to disrupt the whole family environment (i.e. get the children / family upset) and see what happens. This is the not so subtle art of the Jedi Mind Trick.

If used correctly, it can be used to deflect from your own cheating, used to curb some mischievous inappropiate behavior between them and someone else and / or can be used to manipulate others who may have entertained leaving a relationship into staying in an otherwise dying situation. The Jedi Mind Trick can fuck someone’s head up so bad that one can manipulate this person into handing over their credit cards for mindless shopping, giving you the password to their cellphone, giving you an unlimited amount of sex, have the person all up in your face all of the time (i.e. constant attention), have you alienate your personal life, family and friends that you once had and all without having any concrete proof of you cheating. Yes, I said it! Without any real proof of cheating! You’d be surprised how many people fall for the Jedi Mind Trick. Fear can paralyze you! And Jedi Masters know this…

Not all people are innocent and Karma will take care of them. This blog is for the peeps that aren’t cheating, were cheating but, got rid of all their receipts and / or woke up and decided to make their existing relationships work.

Does this sound familiar to you? Have you ever used the Jedi Mind Trick? If so, did I capture the reason why you used it? Shit, I’ve used all of the above scenarios! Was I successful? I’ll never tell but, I will tell you that if you ever find yourself in any of these scenarios, please don’t be naïve! Game attracts game, playa!

If you’re on the receiving end of the Jedi Mind Trick take a deeper dive especially, if you’re innocent! Ask the person “whatcha you been up to?” Have they been acting different? Looking and smelling extra good lately? Is the love-making the same? Are they present when making love or are they distant? Depending on your answers, you can avoid having the Jedi Mind Trick used on you and will be able to initiate “Two Can Play That Game!”

By the way, if your my peoples and I find out that you’ve been a victim of the Jedi Mind Trick, I will kindly provide you with my address so that you can mail me your “playa” card because it’s been “revoked!” You’ve been warned! Catch a replay of the movie “Two Can Play That Game”, take my exam and maybe I’ll give you your “playa” card back!

The Inauguration of the you “Cannot Make This Up” Blog!

Hello World!  This is my first blog and I am super excited to share my everyday experiences, real life scenarios / situations,  somewhat disturbing interactions, great moments etc. on so many different levels and with so many people from all walks of life, where I can truly say “you cannot make this up.”  I often will do a self swirl with my index finger around myself and say the same thing “you cannot make this up” just because I have the gift of making people laugh, look at me in amazement for most likely doing something or saying something off  the wall, tripping over my feet, coming up with some random word or words to describe someone / something in order to seize the moment so that I can basically talk about people while in the presence of others without them even knowing that I’m talking about them.  I know it sounds a tad cray but, believe when I say that I can be so entertaining! Hence, why you “cannot make this up”.

My goal with my blog is to provide some level of the humor, most likely off the wall type of humor to someone or to people that do not take themselves or life too seriously…I mean who wants to go through life being serious all the time?  I know I don’t!

I would like to think that the people that associate with me (i.e. my husband, friends that I can count on my fingers, and a few work associates) knew what they were signing up for when the accepted me in their life.  Unfortunately, my  children do not have a choice at least, till age 18 to put up with their “oh” so different; in a good way, mother.

If you couldn’t tell by the categories in my Menu, I have a lot to contribute on a plethora of various topics.  I enjoy using the word “plethora” any chance I can because it’s such a cool word that when said correctly, provides not only a certain level of emphasis but, also attitude all wrapped up in one little word.  In a “valley girl” kind of way (“As If”).  If you got that, you’re my peoples!

So, beware that you have a former spelling bee champion (from Catholic School) that will use vocabulary words that you probably have not seen nor heard since grammar school,  pretty randomly or throughout my blogs.

Now, close your eyes and take your index finger, swirl it in a circle (like your making a Halo) near the top of your head and say “you cannot make this up”!

Now it’s official, your now a part of the you “Cannot Make This Up” Club!  Cheers to your addiction to reading my blog as often as you can and laughing your Tuchus off!

P.S.

My privacy disclaimer is that all non video blogs on “all of the above” will often times have fictitious names to protect the anonymity (LOVE Vocabulary) of the people being referenced…and I will never sell your information to third parties.